"The Power is in your hands; when it comes to sending money, Moneygram
recognizes you have a choice. Visit MyMoneyGram-dot-com...."
Well, so much for the "Ten-Minute Transaction" as the 40+ minute on-hold waiting
for an operator on Moneygram's 800-926-9400 number (verified by the
recording that you can download in
MP3 format). It all started out when a friend asked me to go receive some
money for him at the Moneygram™ office while he was busy doing other things that
day. The sender sent $400 in MY name, and gave me the Moneygram™ transaction
number. The closest Moneygram™ office to where I live in Jersey City was in
Union City, NJ; a 15 to 20 minute drive. I called and the operator who answered
had a heavy Spanish accent, and gave me the address 4214 Bergenline Ave in Union
City – at least that is what I understood after having her repeat it seven times
on the phone. When I got there, I found no Moneygram™ office. I called her
AGAIN, and spoke to her for TWENTY MINUTES before I could get her to recite the
address of the storefront where she worked in a barely marginal semblance
of the English language.
When I arrived, I had to fill out some paperwork. I had to know the TRANSACTION
NUMBER (of course, WHO sent the money, and his PHONE NUMBER. No problem. I had
to have I.D. – so I showed her a Veteran's Administration Veteran's photo-ID, a
New York State vendor's license photo I.D., my Internet press photo ID, and my
Social Security card. NOT GOOD ENOUGH. She wanted a NJ driver's license, and a
fucking PASSPORT. After three hours of playing around with their "Ten-Minute
Transaction", I was ready to whip out my schwantz, lay it on the counter and
give her a sample of my DNA. I had had enough, and I left without my money –
After arriving back at the office, I called Moneygram's main 800 number (800)
926 9400. Immediately, I got a
"Press One for English"
message which really pissed me off. I spent over 40 minutes listening to a
looped advertisement about the power being in MY hands, and how getting an email
is equivalent to having CONTROL over the money you're sending. Finally, an
operator answered, and their shitty PBX system started chopping up the
conversation. While I was on the phone with Moneygram™, the sender called from
his local Moneygram™
office in a K-mart store, and I told him to get his money back and send it to my
account, which he did after he got home. Twenty seconds after he sent it, the
money was in my account. I didn't have to leave the office. I didn't have to put
up with an illiterate Asshole who could barely speak English. I didn't have to
produce a driver's license, a passport, or a National ID card. I didn't have to
give up a sample of my DNA. I didn't have to give the sender ANY of my personal
information – All he had to know is my email address.
My advice – Leave Moneygram™ to someone who has all day to waste in fruitless
pursuits and 40 minutes to listen to on-hold spiels with background Harry
Krishna music about how great and fast and easy it is to get money sent to you –
or to send it. If you want to get paid BEFORE you are too fuckin' old to spend
it, or aggravate yourself into a heart attack trying to prove your identity to a
minimum wage, illiterate Cretin,
open a PayPal™
an e2e account,
2-Click™ Account. Pick one, or do them ALL. With all of these
payment options, it is EASY to get paid online or offline without giving up your
DNA or spending whole DAYS trying to get your money.
article that takes you through the process and explains everything in detail is
www.MakeALotOfDough.com/instructions.htm. Scroll down a bit on the page
until you see the title "You have to have a way to
get paid". Trust me; I wouldn't lie to you – it
will be time WELL spent, and it will save you numerous headaches in the future.
If you think I am lying or exaggerating, go and
download the recording in MP3
format and listen to it
– if you can stand it (they ought to send this to
Gitmo as a CIA interrogation tool). You can tell that I didn't 'loop' the
recording digitally, because there are continuous office sounds and
conversations in the background as the recording was being made. While this
ISN'T in the least wise funny, it goes to prove that
advertisement is PURE BULLSHIT.
Besides.... every Nigerian
scam artist uses Moneygram™ when they ask you to send
them money so they can process your "inheritance
or some shit like that.
"The Power is
in Your Hands",
Open a PayPal™
account and save yourself a lot of time, trouble, and an Excedrin™ headache.