I can't count how
many times I've been the one-millionth visitor on a Web site.
I won so many of these laptops, I'm waiting for the
mailman to deliver them so I can
sell them on eBay.
I've yet to see a single one! I ain't holding my breath!
Those of you who are old enough to remember the advent of cable-TV, the
strongest selling point was that although you would PAY for the service, those
annoying commercials that run 22 times during a one hour program would be
gone.... but now that they've established their market, not only are there more
ads on cable-TV than the "free" rabbit-ear networks, but we ALSO have the
annoying lower-left-corner pop-up ads for a stupid basketball game or WWWF
Wrestling match that appear DURING the fuckin' program.
Some Webmasters insist on
insulting a visitor's
putting one of THESE annoying, flashing pieces of shit on their Web site:
Scrolling down the page reveals that the statement
"YOU ARE THE 1,000,000th
VISITOR" is a
the site counter reads
is also followed by an asterisk, which means that "FREE" isn't really free...
you have to order a whole bunch of shit you don't need and don't really want, and jump through survey hoops,
MAYBE you'll "qualify" after you order $4,000 worth of shit
merchandise nobody else will buy, or inadvertently opt-in for recurring payments on your credit card.
Don't hold your breath. You didn't win a fuckin' thing!
Let me let you in on a little secret.
There aint' no such thing as "FREE". Period.
If you believe it, you are a bigger Asshole than you give yourself credit for.
I DEFY anyone
who has ever won one of these "Free" laptops to swear out an affidavit under
penalty of perjury, and show me the PROOF that you got a "FREE LAPTOP" from any
of these scam deals.
This shit is second ONLY to the
"You won the Lottery",
or "We are
holding your inheritance"
scams being perpetrated (see the "Phishers of Men"
section) out of Nigeria.
You won't see any of this crap on ANY of my Web sites.
Pop-up ads are like that annoying "music" they play in the 99¢ stores, or the "bing-bing-bing-bing"
in Macy's that subliminally try to make you buy shit, or that drive you so
fuckin' batty that you just can't wait to get the fuck outa' there.
I never bought a damn thing via a pop-up ad. The people who use them
apparently think it is generating business for them – they're dead wrong.
Annoying shit on your Web site makes people go away. I've seen sites with more
than six pop-ups, pop-unders, scrolly-shits, and moving sidebars which just
obscure the main purpose of the page.... and I just go elsewhere.
Don't be an Asshole.
Clean up your Web site. Use readable fonts and good
contrast. That flashy shit went out with Timothy Leary and black-light dayglo
posters of Jimi Hendrix.