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Apocalypse Later

 



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God Bless
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Please pray for the souls of those lost on 9-11-01 and for their families to find peace

Please pray for those young men and women lost in the Virginia Tech Massacre - Pray for their fasmilies to find peace, and for our nation to rediscover its sanity and its faith in the Almighty God.

 

Apocalypse Now (or maybe later)

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Copyright 2012 David Todeschini all rights reserved

 
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Well, as I am writing this, it is December 21, 2012 about 3PM {15:00 Hours) Eastern Standard Time. So far, there are no earthquakes, tidal waves, solar flares, hidden planets, gamma rays, unusual weather (it's raining a bit), glaciers, or anything that even remotely threatens life on the planet. While to most of you, the absence of an apocalypse is a relief, I knew it was bullshit from the start. However, there may be another explanation see if you can wrap your minds around this:

Everyone who watches the Discovery Channel knows at least a little something about Quantum Physics and the theory of parallel universes. In essence, the theory which is all but empirically proven but positively valid according to Steven Hawking who was the Lucasian Professor of Mathematics at the University of Cambridge between 1979 and 2009 says that every time any individual makes a decision, it creates a parallel universe that is identical to the one he or she occupies at the instant moment the decision is made, except for everything that would be different on account of the decision that the individual made. The individual would then occupy that (new) parallel universe from that moment forward, until he or she made (another) decision that created (still) another parallel universe  and so, that person would switch universes almost constantly, and never know that the transition was made. Hey, folks! I didn't make this shit up! You can do research on it if you have any doubts.

In any event, this is what I think happened:

When all of this Mayan Calendar shit first came to light a few years ago, I decided that it was total bullshit. At that moment, my decision that it was bullshit created a parallel universe that (for me) CAUSED it to be bullshit. Everyone else that THOUGHT it was bullshit (but didn't REALLY, REALLY believe it), also, in effect, had their doubts about "The End of The World", and essentially ALSO (in their hearts) thought it was bullshit (this includes YOU if you are reading this), and so they joined me in the for lack of a better term "The Mayan Apocalypse is Bullshit Universe". They are here with me right now, reading this and tweeting the URL of this page to their friends with the hash-tag #LMFAO.

Everybody who gave the Mayan Long-Count full credibility and REALLY, REALLY believed it, going out to the stores and buying bottled water, beef jerky and pop-tarts to put in their floating, waterproof "bug-out bags" stored in their underground fallout shelters, have also created a parallel universe in which the majority of them are dead, and those who survived are floating around in rubber rafts on the ocean with volcanic ash creating "nuclear winters", hundreds of dead whales washing up on the beaches, the Yellowstone Caldera spewing hundreds of thousands of cubic miles of lava into the stratosphere killing what was left of the Ozone Layer, and they are eating cockroaches and fighting their neighbors for their food rations. In THEIR universe, there is no Internet, and even if there were a few Wi-Fi hotspots operating at the surviving Starbucks, their PCs and tablets are probably fried by the Sun's Coronal Mass Ejections (aka: solar orgasms), or EMP's from nuclear bombs going off; hence, they cannot be reading this article because those who survived, are trying to stay alive. If you doubt what I am telling you here; if you think I'm bull-shitting you, then you really need to watch the videos on this page. Folks, there is just some shit I can't make up!
 

 


 

 

     The Staff at AssholesAmongUs sincerely hope that anyone in THIS universe who has read and understood what is presented here, is a bit LESS of an Asshole than when they first came across this page. We are ALL Assholes to one extent or another, and The Meaning of Life is to strive to become as enlightened as possible before we shuffle off this mortal coil.


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Last modified: 08/10/15

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Up About Us A Billion Airport Security al Zarquari Amerika-ka Apocalypse Later Aqua Dots Assholes Driving Axis of Idiots Banning Water Big Trouble Bird Feeder Blackberry Thumbs Blame The Planes Blog On Iraq #1 Blog TV Blowin' Smoke Books on Assholes Bong Hits 4 Jesus Bush Bumpers BushCronium (W) Bush Iraq Speech Buy One / Get One BUY STUFF Buy This Domain Camel Invasion Charles Darwin Checkout Madness Chris Benoit - LOSER Contempt  Congress Dennis Rodman Depleted THC DMV Circle Jerk Dog Fighting Douche Bags Eat Roaches & Die eBook Store Enema Stuff Flyin' 'crackers Ford vs. Toyota Free!! Get it FREE! Ghadafy Global Warming Going To Hell Gonnorhea Lect'im Granny da Mule Ground Zero Mosque Guest Book Haunting Questions Homeless Vets Horse's Asses Immortality Device Insult Marketing Jack Schitt James Holmes Jibeeps Kim Jung Un Locksmith Scams Margarine Medicare Part G Michael Reagan Millionth Visitor Mohammad Jokes - Pissing on Quran Money Gram Mother Nature Nail Gun Net Profit Gene New Delhi, NY News Ooon Yellimahn Osama bin Forgotten PACT Act Peace Wreath PC EXPLOIT Phishers of Men Port Security Ripoff Report Rove Resigns Saddam Hangs "Scooter" Libby "Scrotum" See Something ? Sewer Lips Shipping & Handling Spy / Anti-Spy Station Night Club Stop Badware Stupidity on Camera Subway Searches Tacos Incorporated Times Square Bomb Trivial Crap Verizon DSL Your Taxes at Work Our Other Sites Water For Gas Willingly Ignorant Wolf Hunt WTF? Over!


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